Back in the Day… We Tortured Substitute Teachers… And They Tortured Us

When I was in school, teachers didn’t take many days off. But when they did, they’d bring a substitute in. And boy, did things often get interesting.

A bit of disclosure here. I’ve worked as a substitute teacher, going to different schools on a daily basis to fill in for teachers. I’ve had subs fill in for me when I had my own class during long-term teaching assignments. I’ve also been a student who’s had a sub. So, I know a little bit about this topic. The following are some things I’ve learned about substitute teachers through the years.

Having a Substitute Teacher

Most of the subs from back in my day where older ladies. I’m assuming they were retired teachers the district convinced to come back in when current teachers needed time off. When these unassuming older ladies arrived, kids would do crazy things, such as the following:

• Read Shakespeare in a southern accent
• Walk around the class like a robot
• Crawl around the class like a baby
• Say mean things like, “I don’t have to do anything since you’re not the real teacher.”

Being a Substitute Teacher

My degree is in elementary education, and I worked for many years as a long-term substitute. This meant taking over classes when teachers took a leave of absence. These assignments lasted anywhere from a few weeks to the majority of the school year. In between long-term gigs, I would sub day-to-day. The daily sub jobs were harder than long-term because the kids sometimes acted like lunatics, and the administration didn’t always do much about it. Here are some of my observations.

• Elementary and high school students actually weren’t that bad. Middle school students were the worst. Middle school kids are sweaty, hormonal creatures who act like they could take a bite out of you at any moment.
• High paid administrators in fancy suits don’t have all the answers. They’re trying to survive the jungle, just like you are.
• Always stay as calm as possible and rarely raise your voice. Save yelling and screaming for shock value.
• You get in life pretty much what you’re willing to put up with. If you allow students to act like homicidal maniacs, you’d be surprised how often they’ll take you up on it. Laying down the law right from the start is a good idea for any teacher.

When Subs Go Rogue

A lot of schools are desperate for subs and too often take anyone with a pulse that isn’t a convicted felon. Let’s face it, some subs just shouldn’t be in the classroom. Here are a few things that substitute teachers have been known to do:

• Eat all the candy teachers have in their desks for treats.
• Rearrange the desks. (I guess both subs, and kids trying to make subs crazy use this trick.)
• On a Reddit thread a teacher explains how the sub disregards her lesson plans and shows the kids videos of animals giving birth on YouTube. The teacher taught English.
• Subs have been known to pull out hearing aids they thought were music ear buds and take away heart monitoring devices they thought were cell phones. Bothering to read the lesson plans would have cleared up this confusion.

Differences Between Then and Now

This is a back in the day blog, so what were the differences between having or being a sub 30 to 40 years ago and today? Plenty.

• Teachers Manhandled Kids: I’m definitely not saying this was a good thing, but it did happen on a fairly regular basis from both regular teachers and subs. I remember teachers grabbing my face and squeezing my cheeks into the sides of my teeth. I remember high school teachers slamming high school boys against lockers if the high school boy got a little mouthy.
• Nobody Tried to Be Cool: Today, too many subs try be cool when teaching high school, so they let all the kids play on their phones during class. They try to be everyone’s best buddy when teaching elementary kids and pass out enough candy to choke a horse. The subs of yesteryear couldn’t have cared less whether the students thought they were cool.
• There Weren’t Background Checks: When I first entered the classroom in my 20s, there were absolutely no background checks of any kind for teachers (at least in the district I worked in). By the time I was in my 30s, (which was in the late 1990s), there were background checks, but they weren’t that extensive. Today, you have to undergo FBI checks, get fingerprinted, and go through a process J. Edgar Hoover wouldn’t understand. The irony is, in spite of this process, we have more teachers behaving badly, sex scandals, etc., than we ever did when there were no background checks.

Teaching is a tough gig, whether you only fill in for a single day for a teacher or have the guts to show up for the entire year. Most substitute teachers deserve a medal but will gladly take a little more respect and a heftier paycheck. These are my observations regarding substitute teaching today and from back in the day.