Back in the day, we didn’t rely on artificial intelligence to generate ideas, concepts, and products. We came up with them ourselves, with the creativity stashed in our little three-pound brains.
I don’t think everyone’s brains were always working at full-capacity, because some companies invented some doozy products in the 70s and 80s. The following are some of the coolest, dumbest, and interesting products from back in the day.
Baby Alive
Kenner sold approximately 1 million of these urinating/defecating dolls annually during the early 1980s. Children everywhere would get a taste of what it was like to care for a baby that ate, drank, peed, and pooped.
Things really got creepy when they came out with a talking Baby Alive that told you when it peed or pooped. As if being disgusted wasn’t enough, Kenner wanted to frighten you, too. Baby Alive was perhaps a foretaste of artificial intelligence and futuristic bots we now interact with regularly.
Trapper Keeper
Remember when every kid in America had to have a Trapper Keeper? This back-to-school must-have item was a plastic three-ring binder that opened up to hold a lot of papers and other materials. It closed securely with a snap button, so no matter how much you threw it, smashed it, or stepped on it, the Trapper survived.
They came out with all sorts of designs, including pictures of cute puppies and psychedelic designs that made you dizzy if you stared at them too long. Some schools actually banned these things, insisting they were too large and distracting. They were.
The Clapper
The granddaddy of all silly inventions has to be the Clapper. The commercial featured old people sitting in bed while clapping to turn lights on and off. Remember the catchy little jingle?
Clap on, clap off…
There wasn’t much to it, but we all remembered it and sang it on playgrounds and classrooms across America. There were potential drawbacks to the product. If people made too much noise in your house, the lights would be flickering on and off like a Poltergeist.
Meow Mix
Cats everywhere were singing that one-word song – Meow, meow, meow, meow
meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow…
Need I say more?
Fruit Roll-Ups
Fruit Roll-Ups were leathery fruit strips that added some fun to your eating routine. This was a way for moms everywhere to get their kids to eat more fruit. Well, maybe.
Some ingredients found in the original Roll-Ups included Maltodextrin, corn syrup, pear puree concentrate, sodium citrate, and partially hydrogenated soybean oil. How healthy your fruit snack was, is debatable, but they were delicious.
Hubba Bubba
Gum chewing was popular in the 70s and 80s. All the cool kids in school had their favorite brand of bubble gum. In a world of Bazooka Joe, Dubble Bubble, Bubblicious, and Bubble Yum, Hubba Bubba had perhaps the best name.
Introduced in 1979, Hubba Bubba came out in packets of five flavor-filled chunks. This brand was often rated the best for blowing bubbles that didn’t stick to your face after popping.
Cabbage Patch Kids
This was truly a phenomenon. You might have heard of different political riots through the years, but we had what was called the Cabbage Patch Riots of 1983. In malls and toy stores across the country, desperate parents knocked down displays, beat each other up, and trampled one another to obtain a Cabbage Patch doll.
People would line up at stores at 5 am to get dolls that were locked behind cages. It was rumored that the truck drivers delivering the dolls would take bribes. People were selling them on the black market. I personally thought the dolls were kind of creepy looking, with their lumpy, odd-shaped heads. The names weren’t much better. There were dolls named Jovany Lincoln, Babette Jocelyne, Laraine Cammie, and Lucette Jacnyth.
These were just a few of the uh, interesting products we had… back in the day.
If you’re interested in family-friendly children’s books, (no sexuality or inappropriate language) check out the following:
Back in the Day... 
Leave a comment